I didn't catch up with my Brother. By the time "Transporter 3" (it was a piece of shit, but it had it's moments) had finished, and I got to The Square Peg at 20:10, my Brother was gone. I phoned him up. He had been drinking since midday and sounded like it. He had left the pub at 20:00.

I was a bit annoyed. I had told him that I was going to see a film first. Never mind. I won't hold it against him and I will not mention it. I will be going to my Mom's, in a couple of hours, so I will see him then.

So, instead of a night of debauchery I

1. Went home.
2. Read newspapers.
3. Watched the final episode of Mark Gattiss' fine series of ghost stories, "Crooked House".
4. Watched a carol concert.
5. Listened to some music.
6. Went to bed at 1am.

I was up this morning at 6am. I couldn't sleep. I had a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea and watched "Venus" starring Peter O'Toole and Jodie Whitaker. A brilliant, touching movie.

Jennifer just called. She wished me a Happy Christmas and asked if I had her Boss' mobile phone number.

Right...

Have a good Christmas Day, all.

Is it me, or has Christmas become disgusting? Or is it just the people.

I have done some shopping. Most of the shops will only be closed for two days, but I have seen people acting like it is the the end of the world. Trolleys being pushed, loaded high with food. People racing around supermarkets, lists in hand, faces sweaty and panicky. Pushing, pulling, grabbing cranberry sauce, sausage rolls, pickled onions, bread, milk, volauvent's, ice cream, stuffing, chips, crisps, vegetables, booze, booze, booze and cigarettes. It's like "Mad Max 2" in the aisles.

I have not been immune. I have caviar in my fridge. Fucking caviar! When do we eat caviar? Never, except at Christmas. Over Christmas Jennifer sometimes likes to have for breakfast, toast spread with Philadelphia with smoked salmon and caviar on top. It's nice, really is, but it is expensive.

I have spent a stupid amount of money of food and presents. None of it matters. Can you remember what you had for Christmas last year? I cannot. Really, I cannot.

Maybe it is me. I am indifferent to Christmas this year. Too much has gone down. 2008 has been too shit. I am tired. I am fed up. I am all alone. (What's that noise? The world's smallest violin playing just for me.) There was a choice. I could have gone South with Jennifer to her folks, but... No.

No.

I miss Jennifer.

I have tried to cheer myself up. I tried to get a ticket for "It's A Wonderful Life" at The Electric, this evening, but it is sold out. I will still go out this evening. I will see something at the cinema. Afterwards, I might even take my Brother up on his offer to have a drink with him and his mates. He made the offer at the Ocean Colour Scene gig on Monday night. He makes these offers all of the time, never thinking I will take him up on them, but I might this evening.

Christmas, eh? A happy one to you. I mean it, as well.

Is this the way that the blog ends? I hope not, but it might be.

I am fighting, but I just feel so tired. Maybe it is the onset of winter and the cold weather? Maybe time is just speeding up? Maybe I am suffering from depression or maybe I am just generally pissed off with life? I don't know.

There does not seem to be any time to do anything, never mind writing anything of any interest. I have received a CD as part of Swiss Toni's Shuffleathon. I have not listened to it, even though at the beginning of this week I said that I would. I have taped lots of TV onto the V+ box. I have not watched any of it. I have 3, brand new, shiny Blu Ray discs to watch. I haven't watched them. I have a book I started to read, "The Rise Of Endymion", that is sitting on a chair in the bedroom. I am not reading it.

What am I doing then?

You got me there, Chief. Mostly I have been sleeping, eating food and watching TV. When I do raise my arse out of the chair to get to the back room, turn the computer on and attempt to blog, I have nothing much to say. Pretty shit.

It doesn't help that Jennifer is working all of the time. She is in work by 7am. She works through lunch. She comes home with me at the correct time, that is true, but then she works late into the evening. I am pretty sure that last night she did not get into bed until after midnight. (Not that I would know this for certain, of course, because we do not share a bed anymore and there does not seem much likelihood that we are going to ever again.) We are supposed to have a date at 9:30pm to watch an hour of TV together, probably "Burn Notice", but I am not going to hold my breath.

I am very, very fed up.

(Hey! Can the defeatist shit! This is bollocks. Pull yourself together, you twat!. There are a lot of people worse off than you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.)

Quite right.

Vent. Vent. Rant. Vent. Fuckers. Cunts. Bollocks. Tory wankers.

There, I feel better. The blog goes on.

Right, first thing. Some news.

Tomorrow is the evening of The Company Christmas Party. I will not go into any great detail about it, for obvious reasons, but The Company has spent an obscene amount on this years festive entertainment. Free coach travel to the venue, from all over the UK, free hotel accommodation, free food, free bar, live band(s), butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Sounds good, yes?

No. I don't think so. The Company has made several hundred redundancies in the last couple of months. A lot of people are facing a very bleak future. Taking the moral high ground, I think that the whole idea of spending hundreds, possibly thousands, of pounds on a party is disgusting and revolting and I want no part of it. I will not be there. I have been banned (by Jennifer) from revealing the true reason why I will not be there. I have been told to say that I will be celebrating Sister 3's birthday tomorrow (Sister 3 really will be 33 years old - Happy Birthday Sister 3, even though you do not know that this blog exists) and will otherwise engaged. Jennifer is going to The Company Christmas Party. She has been told that, as a manager, she has to attend.

I hope she has a nice time. Really I do. Maybe she can take her laptop and do some work?

I will be here. I will watch TV. I might watch something on Blu Ray. I might even do some blogging.

Secondly. Let's get that CD copied to my MP3 player and give it a listen. I am constantly letting people down, but Swiss is a nice guy and I do not like letting him down.

Thirdly. Let's get started on a big post about all the movies and gigs I have not bothered to write about yet.

Later.