I didn't catch up with my Brother. By the time "Transporter 3" (it was a piece of shit, but it had it's moments) had finished, and I got to The Square Peg at 20:10, my Brother was gone. I phoned him up. He had been drinking since midday and sounded like it. He had left the pub at 20:00.

I was a bit annoyed. I had told him that I was going to see a film first. Never mind. I won't hold it against him and I will not mention it. I will be going to my Mom's, in a couple of hours, so I will see him then.

So, instead of a night of debauchery I

1. Went home.
2. Read newspapers.
3. Watched the final episode of Mark Gattiss' fine series of ghost stories, "Crooked House".
4. Watched a carol concert.
5. Listened to some music.
6. Went to bed at 1am.

I was up this morning at 6am. I couldn't sleep. I had a bacon sandwich and a cup of tea and watched "Venus" starring Peter O'Toole and Jodie Whitaker. A brilliant, touching movie.

Jennifer just called. She wished me a Happy Christmas and asked if I had her Boss' mobile phone number.

Right...

Have a good Christmas Day, all.

Jennifer made me stay home because I was in no fit state to go to work. After sleeping in very late, I washed, had some Thai chicken soup and watched lots of stuff on the TV.

1. Neil Young live in concert, from a 1972 BBC session.
2. "The Mist" on Blu Ray.
3. Two episodes of "Underbelly".

I feel much better. I will go to work tomorrow. No choice, really. Tomorrow evening we are going to a gig (The Puppini Sisters), so if I really didn't go to work, it would be too much like skiving and I do not hold with skiving.

When I return on Thursday I will finally publish my thoughts on the Shuffleathon 2008 CD.

Later.

"Zack and Miri Make a Porno".



7.9/10 on IMDB's user rating? Are you kidding? I think you must be.

It makes me very sad to say this, because I have generally been a big Kevin Smith fan, but I thought that "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" was a bit disappointing.

Definitely not as good as "Clerks", "Chasing Amy" or "Dogma". In fact, scratch that. "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" is not as good as any previous Kevin Smith film. The script is not as funny, the performances are not as assured and I did not warm to the characters as much. Kevin Smith by numbers, I'm afraid. "Star Wars" gags? Check. Sex talk? Check. Pop culture references? Check. Jay and Silent Bob? Er... OK. Fair enough. No Jay and Silent Bob (it would have been a better film if they had been in it), but I kept thinking to myself that maybe it is time for Kevin Smith to change the record.

"Zack and Miri Make a Porno" is not totally terrible. It is funny, and it does have some great moments, just not enough of them. Elizabeth Banks is sweet. Jason Mewes is funny. So is porn star Katie Morgan. Justin Long and Brandon Routh are really funny in their little cameo. Seth Rogan is... Seth Rogan. If you like him, you will like him in "Zack and Miri Make A Porno", if you don't like him, you won't. Traci Lords seems to have come to terms with her porn past. Interesting, that.

"Zack and Miri Make a Porno" just made me want to shrug my shoulders. Yeah, whatever. Was that it?

Kevin Smith's worst film, but it is OK.

**

This weeks desktop.



Reg Varney, of course. He died yesterday at the age of 92.

I would never claim that "On The Buses" was a great British sitcom, because it certainly wasn't, but it ran for seven series, was incredibly popular and, along with other terrible sitcoms like "Love Thy Neighbour", "Bless This House" and "Man About The House", was typical of the politically incorrect humour that made us Brits laugh in the 1970's. Well... Some of us.

Interesting fact. The "On The Buses" movies were the most successful that Hammer Film Productions ever made, grossing more than myriad "Dracula", "Frankenstein" and "Mummy" movies. I'm bet you are glad you learnt that, aren't you?

Tuesday evening was spent

1. Eating food. We had a Chinese takeaway. We were so knackered by an apocalyptically bad day at work, we decided that the mountain of fresh food we had in the fridge could go hang.
2. Watching the first episode of "Breaking Bad". I thought that it was very funny. I laughed all of the way through it. I will definitely watch the rest of the series.
3. Installing the software for Jennifer's tiny Creative Zen MP3 player. (Tiny? It was so small I thought it was an After Eight mint.) A stressful experience to say the least, mainly because Jennifer kep hanging over my shoulder asking me what I was doing.

I have been writing a largish post catching up on all of the film reviews I have thus far failed to post. So, if you will excuse me, I am going back to that.

I hope everyone is OK.

I didn't make it here last night because I was busy... Er... watching TV.

But I was also finishing reading "Endymion" by Dan Simmons! Very good book, but also a very long book. I was glad to finally finish it. It seems like I have been reading "Endymion" forever. There is only one book left now for me to read in the "Hyperion Cantos" and that is "The Rise Of Endymion". I intend to start that next week. I normally read for half an hour every morning before leaving for work, but this week I am rising at 5am and leaving at 6am. No time to read.

After "The Rise Of Endymion" I am going to read something short. Then I intend to finish Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy. Got to be done. Jennifer and I have booked to see the stage adaptation of "His Dark Materials" at the Birmingham Rep in March next year. In my opinion it is never a good idea to see an adaptation of a novel, or a series of novels, directly after reading the source material. It is always best to leave some distance. I remember seeing the movie of "L. A. Confidential" a week after I had finished the book and thinking that the movie was absolutely dreadful. Of course it wasn't. It took another viewing of "L. A. Confidential" a year or two later to get me to change my mind.

At work, today, I was on a customer care course. Everybody in The Company is going on the same course. I last did a customer care course 20 odd years ago and found it very useful. No, really I did. That course was full of very practical tips. Obvious stuff like making sure you have a pad and a pen on your desk at all time to jot down notes, and also to identify yourself and/or your department when you answer the phone. You would be amazed at the people I know who always scramble for a pen and paper and how many of them just say 'Hello?' when they answer the phone.

The new course was much more to do with the psychological aspects of customer care. Aggressive, assertive and passive customers, and the different ways to deal with them. High loyalty, low loyalty, high satisfaction, low satisfaction customers, and the ways that they can move between the different parts of loyalty/satisfaction grid. Maybe some people thought it par for the course, but I thought it was fascinating stuff.

There was one exercise when a group of people were told to talk to each other about 'holidays'. After 30 seconds an Outsider was to try to join in with the conversation and the group had to ignore them for 5 minutes, before allowing the Outsider to join the conversation. An observer (the lecturer) would make notes on how the group coped with ignoring the Outsider, how the Outsider tried to impose themselves on the conversation and how they reacted when finally being allowed into the conversation.

Interestingly enough, I managed to ignore the Outsider completely. He wasn't even there, as far as I was concerned. The lecturer said that this was unusual. I told this to Jennifer. She said that it was not unusual at all, because any one of the Cornelius clan could have managed it. She said that when we get together we all talk over each other, interrupt each other, none of us are listening to each other and that none of us care a fig about the opinion of anybody else.

Gulp! Am I really like that?

Yes, I suppose that I am. Thank God for the Blog. Nobody to interrupt me.

The other fun thing was the presence on the course of a new girl (a beautiful, stunning, sexy girl) from the marketing department, who was wearing the thinnest and lowest cut blouse I have ever seen. The poor child looked like she was about to freeze to death. I hope that she didn't catch a chill. It would be a waste.

Boobs are very distracting for poor blokes, you know? What was I supposed to do? Not look? At least I didn't drool. Dignity at all times. Dignity.

I have more films to write about, but not now. "Lost In Austen" starts at 9pm. For a light chick comedy, I think that it is hilarious, especially the performance of Hugh Bonneville as Mr. Bennett. Wednesday night period comedies? Shit! Jennifer has obviously brainwashed me.

Jennifer loathes it. It is deeply wrong. It is cheap, nasty and bad. It makes fools of the sad, the bewildered and the misguided.

I am mortified to my soul, but I really love "The X-Factor". What can I say? I am obviously a lesser human being.

The highlight of the first episode that went out on Saturday? Got to be this pair of geniuses.



I did have a work story, but I am still laughing. Another time.

It is a bit late now to be posting anything of substance.

I finally saw "The Dark Knight" over the weekend. I also saw "Elegy". Both really interesting films. I will write about those over the next couple of days.

Sorry. I am really tired.

I did see episode one of "Spooks: Code 9" this evening. It is a turd. Dreadful, with not even the saving grace (re. "Bonekickers") of being unintentionally funny. Imagine a spy series made for the "Hollyoaks" audience. Inept and cack. I will not be watching again. Bring back the proper "Spooks".

That is all.

How peculiar was that? I couldn't read my own blog. The problem was down to the html for website counter, supplied by http://www.sitemeter.com/. Once I had removed the html, no problems at all. I will need to investigate that further, but not now. No time.

Reasonably uneventful night, last night. Jennifer watched "Grey's Anatomy" while I scanned the newspapers. I have never seen the appeal of "Grey's Anatomy" myself. All pretty formulaic stuff, if you ask me, but Jennifer loves it. For my television medical fix I prefer "Scrubs" which, I suppose like most television, is just as formulaic, but is also hilarious, frequently biting, kind of touching, with great music and features my hero, Dr. Perry Cox. While at work I do try to channel Dr. Cox at least once a day.

We then watched a concert on BBC4 featuring footage from the Stax tour of Norway in 1967. The footage was 41 years old and was still electrifying. Booker T & the MG's, the Bar Kays, Arthur Conley, Wilson Pickett, Sam and Dave and Otis Redding. Not brilliant, but fucking brilliant. Even Jennifer, who is the most rhythmically challenged white girl in the history of mankind (her words), tapped a finger (not in time, mind) to the performances. Had to turn the sound on the TV right up. Red hot. The death of Otis Redding was such a loss. He was 26 years old when he died. Such a shame.

I am out this evening with my Brother seeing Them Is Me at the Bar Academy. Them Is Me is the band formed from the ashes of Reef. I know nothing about Them Is Me. Come to that I know nothing about Reef either, bar one song. ("Place Your Hands"?) It should be a good night, even if the band are shite.

Nap time. I am an old man, especially when planning to party all evening, except that I cannot really indulge too much. Jennifer and I have a double date tomorrow with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Got to be fresh for Gillian.

At work:

Did some work without much enthusiasm. Nothing new there, eh?

We are all waiting for the pay review insult. Jennifer tells me that I may be pleasantly surprised this year. Apparently some time ago, Jennifer was asked by her manager who she would recommend for an above average pay review. Who were her stars? Jennifer mentioned 3 people: A guy called Damon King (mid 20's, Kevin Spacey lookalike, very quiet, rumoured to have last spoken back in 2002), Bill North (thin, bald and... er... Northern) and me (short and balding, but still sexy, with an undefinable Clooneyesque/Pittesque/Deppesque charisma around the ladies).

Will I get a decent pay review? It is more likely that Buddy Holly will announce a British tour.

At home:

Tea was fish, mash and peas. Actually, lovely.

Entertainment was "George Gently", which is a middle class, cuddly, BBC, Sunday evening, mid 1960's set detective drama. The kind of thing I would normally jump out of a window to avoid, but I really enjoyed it. Maybe I am going senile?

Then, "Bonekickers". I have written about this series before. It hasn't improved. It really is still kind of awful. Terrible, illogical and unbelievable. Bonkers. It is unthinkable to consider that the BBC will do a second series, after the reviews of the first. I think that "Bonekickers" is unmissable. Thoroughly enjoyable. There is a comedy CGI snake in next weeks episode!

And Julie Graham? Oh, yes. I certainly would.

Here's some pictures of her with her clothes on.

There was a moment on Saturday evening, after "Doctor Who" had finished (I know I promised not to mention "Doctor Who" again until Christmas, but it is only in passing), when I realised that every single TV series that I watch regularly had come to the end of it's run.

Nothing to watch! Eeek!

Then I realised that "Dexter" season two was going to start it's run on FX on Sunday evening.

Phew. Close call.

I love "Dexter". Sly, witty, amusing and kind of sexy. It is the best TV series about the trials and tribulations of a blank faced, moral, psychopathic serial killer that I have ever seen.

(Er... It is the only TV series about the trials and tribulations of a blank faced, moral, psychopathic serial killer you have ever seen.)

Oh, do shut up, Jerry.

When one series starts, another one is sure to follow straight behind.

Another TV series started on BBC1 last night. I think that I may well be watching it to the end of it's run. "Bonekickers"

Now, don't get me wrong. "Bonekickers" really is shit, but the thing that makes the difference is that "Bonekickers" is entertaining shit.

"Bonekickers" is an unholy mix of "The Da Vinci Code" and "Time Team", with a soupcon of "Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade" and "C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigation" thrown in for good measure. It features lots of familiar and good British TV faces (sexy Julie Graham, Adrian Lester, Michael Maloney) all acting very serious and intense, unless they are in the series as comic relief (Hugh Bonneville). Last night we also had ex-"Eastenders" actor Paul Nicholls guesting as a Christian right psycho with a big sword. (Yes, I do mean a sword. Nothing else. He may well have a big penis. I don't know. Good luck to him if he has.)

"Bonekickers" had a plot that started silly and got sillier, with hints of some underlying conspiracy waiting to be uncovered as the series goes on. Furrowed brow acting, dodgy special effects, but all done at a rollicking pace. Cracking stuff.

Of course it's crap, but crap that makes you happy is good crap. That's what I say.

So, then. The final episode of this season's "Doctor Who". If you haven't see it, run for the hills. There will be spoilers.

What did I get right?

The regeneration creating two Doctors', both played by David Tennant. The happy ending for Doctor #2 and Rose. The "threefold man" comment by Dalek Caan meaning three Doctors' in the Tardis, if not in the way that I expected.

What did I get wrong?

Ooooh... Practically everything else. Never mind.

I thought "Journey's End" was an exceptional episode and a brilliant finale to the series. True, I thought that the resolution to the regeneration at the beginning was a cop out, and I told Jennifer as such when we were watching it, but the rest of "Journey's End" was pure entertainment.

The nature of the Osterhagen Key. Davros' masterplan and insanity. Dalek Caan's deception. The Doctor shaking with anger when being forced to face up to the carnage and death he brings with him. Indeed "The Destroyer Of Worlds". And finally, and heartbreakingly, the eventual fate of Donna Noble.



I had no baggage associated with Catherine Tate when she joined the series. I knew that she had been very successful in her BBC comedy sketch show, but I had never seen it. No interest in it at all. Lot's of "Doctor Who" fans complained when she was cast for the full season of "Doctor Who" saying that she was not up to it, that she would unbalance the show and bring too much comedy to it. I was not one of them. I thought that she was very good in "The Runaway Bride" Christmas special of 2006 and wanted to see more of that character.

Those fans that complained were wrong. They were dead wrong.

Throughout the series, and especially during the final moments of "Journey's End", Catherine Tate proved what a very fine actress she is. Those final scenes were tragic, incredibly sad and, yes, heartbreaking. A woman who had broken free, grown and became a better person, would be forced to return to how she was when we first came across her: Crass, shallow, loud, empty, trivial.

Donna Noble touched the stars and she saved the universe. She would not remember doing it and she would never be allowed to remember The Doctor.

I tell you, it was a three hankie job. Two for me and one for Jennifer.

I watched the "Journey's End" again this evening, on BBC3. Total class. Magnificent.

All over now. No more "Doctor Who" comments from me until Christmas Day. Phew. I need to lie down.

**

I saw two films this weekend: "Les Femmes de l'ombre", or "Female Agents", and "Adulthood". I will write about those tomorrow.

Is it that time again? I think that it is.

The season finale of "Doctor Who" starts in 4 hours and 50 minutes. (Tired of "Doctor Who"? You are tired of life, mate.)

There will now be spoilers and speculation. You may wish to run away. Let me say that I am not an insider on the show. I know nothing. This week, despite my best intentions, I have perused websites for information on what is going to happen. Those websites also know nothing. The secrecy is apparently total. Nobody knows what is going to happen. I have stopped eating. I have stopped sleeping. I randomly mutter to myself and shout at people in the street. Jennifer has banned me from talking about "Doctor Who" in the house. I am obsessed.

To recap the main cliffhanger of last weeks episode: The Doctor is mortally wounded and is regenerating. What does this mean?

Well the main thing it means is that David Tennant will be leaving the series. Probably this evening.

Well... Could be, but if he is, how come he is in the Christmas special? Lots of photos on the web of him filming the Christmas story.

Actually that is easy to answer. Maybe they are doing a multi Doctor story featuring the old Doctor and the new Doctor? True, Russell T. Davies has said that he has never been a great fan of multi Doctor stories, but only this year we saw a multi Doctor crossover between the old (pre 2005) series and the new series when, as part of this years Children In Need appeal, there was a short story broadcast called "Time Crash" that featured Peter Davison (Doctor #5) and David Tennant. Also, "Time Crash" was written by Steven Moffat who, of course, will be the head honcho on the series from 2010 and has probably already got a say in the way he wants the series to progress.

If David Tennant is leaving the series, who will be replacing him? Easy, take a look at the cast list for the Christmas special, and step forward this man.



David Morrissey has been mentioned a couple of times as a potential Doctor. He has worked with Russell T. Davies (and David Tennant) before on "Blackpool", is already a semi familiar face on British TV, is a good actor and I think would not be a bad choice at all.

Nah, I don't believe it, for one reason and one reason only. I can believe that plot lines can be kept secret, but I think the replacing of the lead actor in "Doctor Who" would be practically impossible to keep secret. Unthinkable, in fact.

No new Doctor then.

Hang on a minute! Tennant is regenerating! There has got to be a new Doctor!

So, how about this: Maybe the new Doctor will be a temporary Doctor, who will only exist for the final episode of this series. Stay with me here. The finale is set in a time pocket - a pocket universe, if you will - out of sync with the normal universe. When good finally vanquishes evil I would imagine that the pocket universe will cease to exist. When that happens, maybe everything that has happened inside that universe will also cease to exist. So, bye bye new Doctor. Tennant returns!

Could be. If that happens, I will put my money on this guy being the temporary Doctor.



Did anybody watch the Graham Norton show on Thursday night? I never watch it normally, but Catherine Tate was on pushing "Doctor Who" and her appearance in some stage play or other. The other guest was James Nesbitt.

Why was James Nesbitt on the show? He had nothing to promote. He does not have a movie, play, TV series or book about to be released. He was just a guest on the show, for no reason whatsoever, sitting next to Catherine Tate. When was the last time you heard of a guest on the Graham Norton show with nothing to promote? Are the BBC playing games with us?

Might be.

Another theory about what might happen in the regeneration, and potential temporary Doctors.

Somebody on a message board pointed out that when Sylvester McCoy appeared in "Doctor Who Confidential", in a recently filmed interview, he looked to be dressed in a very Doctorish manner. There was also a line of dialogue in the last episode where Dalek Caan referred to the "threefold man".

Could something be about to go wrong with the regeneration? Maybe instead of regenerating into a new form The Doctor will degenerate into a previous form, or more than one previous form? Maybe Sylvester McCoy is about to pop up again? (Quick sidebar here. I will defend Sylvester McCoy's portrayal of The Doctor, at the end of the 80's, to the death. I admit that the first series he did was utter pants, but the last two series, showcasing a very dark Doctor, were kind of brilliant and only reduced by the lack of budget. End of sidebar.) Or Peter Davison? Or Paul McGann? Not Christopher Ecclestone. I don't believe Ecclestone would do it, even if he were paid a million pounds.

Might be. Or maybe something else will go wrong with the regeneration and we will end up with two David Tennant's. At the end you could have one go off with Rose back to her universe. A happy ending, except for The Doctor left behind.

Then there is the Donna Noble problem.

Who is she? What is she? We have been told over and over again this season that Donna is special, something new, something out of the ordinary. This was illustrated perfectly by the "Turn Left" episode where a single, small decision leads to her never meeting The Doctor, his subsequent death, the destruction of London, the death of millions, crisis in America and a neo fascist government in the United Kingdom. In fact The Doctor even explained his puzzlement at what happened. He explained that normally in such a case, time would adjust around an individual, the result being only minor changes to a timeline. In her case a full blown, completely different, parallel world sprang up. How could that happen for a normal person?

Well it wouldn't, would it? But maybe it would if you were a Time Lord.

Is Donna Noble a Time Lord, but doesn't know it? Could she have been adjusted by a Chameleon Arch like The Doctor in "Human Nature / The Family Of Blood" and The Master in "Utopia", with her Time Lord DNA rewritten to become human and a new persona wiping her memory and replacing her true identity? In a couple of hours are we going to discover that Donna was adopted by the Noble family as a baby and that Mom or Grandad have in their possession a very special kind of fob watch?

If so, which Time Lord could she be? Off the top of my head I can only name two female Time Lords: The Rani and Romana.

The Rani was a villain, so I think I will discount her. There is a big villain already on board for the finale.

That leaves Romana, companion to the 4th Doctor nearly 30 years ago. Interestingly enough, Romana rose through the ranks of the Time Lords to become President of Gallifrey, a position she was holding at the time of the Final Time War. (Don't believe me? Check it for yourself. It was mentioned in the "Doctor Who" Annual 2006, in an article written by Russell T. Davies.) Romana was the leader of the Time Lords. The most powerful Time Lord.

Is Donna Noble the 3rd regeneration of Romana?

Richard Dawkins was in "Doctor Who" last week playing himself. Guess who Richard Dawkins is married to? Lalla Ward. Can you guess what was Lalla Ward's most famous acting role? You got it.

Romana.

Will Lalla Ward be playing Romana in a flashback sequence set during the Final Time War? Oh, that would be just great?

2 hours and 10 minutes to go.

Of course, Donna Noble might not be a Time Lord. She might be a host for The Master.

Remember at the end of "The Last Of The Time Lords". The Master is dead, his body on a funeral pyre, burnt beyond recognition. A female hand wearing red nail polish takes The Master's ring from the burnt-out pyre. Could that hand have belonged to Donna Noble? Is The Master about to return?

Don't even get me started on the Osterhagen Key...

Time to go.

Save us Doctor!

I am thinking that when "Heroes" returns for a third season, I may not bother to watch it. I know that season two was severely curtailed by the U.S. writers strike, but that was no reason for the finished product to be so dull, smug, humourless, over complicated and, frankly, as boring as shit.

Yes, I think that that has decided it. Do I want to watch a show that is dull, smug, humourless, over complicated and as boring as shit? No, I don't think that I do. I had read the negative reviews coming out of the states and I ignored them. (Then again, season three of "Lost" was also getting pretty negative reviews and, after a slow start, I thoroughly enjoyed that season when I watched it recently.) I regretted staying with "The X-Files" once it became obvious that David Duchovny had lost even a pretence of interest in the show and I don't want to be stuck in front of the TV again watching something that I am not really interested in.

Life is too short, isn't it?

Firstly, and with no spoilers for the folks who have not seen it yet, some brief thoughts on the penultimate episode of this season of "Doctor Who".

"The Stolen Earth" was not the best episode I have ever seen. It seems to have been designed to shoehorn as many old assistants and allies as possible into a single story. That would have been fine if the running time had been longer, but in a 50 minute show the net effect was that the cast were falling over one another, with none of them having enough screen time. However, I can forgive that. "The Stolen Earth" did have the greatest "Doctor Who" cliffhanger since the current incarnation of the series started.

Are the BBC really intending to do what it looks like they are going to do? And they managed to keep it a secret? I bet there is a cop out somewhere along the way. However, if I am wrong, good on the BBC for keeping it a secret. I love being surprised.

Roll on next Saturday.

It has been a funny old weekend. There has been far too much drinking by myself. Why else was I so tired on Friday night that I could not string a coherent sentence together on the last post? That post will stand. If this blog was ever intended to be a reflection of me, where I am and what I think, the ugliness has to exist alongside the beauty.

So, lots of drinking, a bit of work, and lots of watching of films on TV and taped off the TV onto the V+ box, while Jennifer was away, because she tends to grab the TV for herself at the weekends.

Films like...

"Fracture". Pure potboiler, and not un-entertaining, but why did Anthony Hopkins' accent keep changing from Welsh to Scottish to mid American twang, often during a single scene? Ah, that would be because he was sleepwalking through the part.

"Evan Almighty". Utter shit. As funny as finding a lump on your bollocks or a turd in your soup. I am surprised that Steve Carell has managed to continue his career after this clunker.

"Savage Messiah". Everybody has heard of the Ken Russell classics "Women In Love", "The Devils" and "Tommy", and although "Savage Messiah" is definitely as good as those, it has been practically forgotten. "Savage Messiah" is a brilliant movie. Full of life, energy and madness, and you also get to see the 27 year old Helen Mirren stark naked, for quite a long time.

"8 1/2 Women". Another impenetrable, obscure and raving mad Peter Greenaway film. Beautiful art design and copious nudity. Unfortunately quite a bit of the nudity was in the shape of the 65 year old John Standing. Nearly enough to put me off my sausages, but luckily Toni Collette and Polly Walker were on hand to even the balance.

"The Shape Of Things". The movie adaptation of the first of Neil LaBute's 'Beauty' trilogy of plays. (The second was the play "Fat Pig", that we recently saw at the Trafalgar studios in London.) It is about love and relationships and wanting to change for somebody that you love. But it is also about art and manipulation. I think that Paul Rudd and Rachel Wesiz are simply astonishing in this film, especially Ms. Weisz in the final 20 minutes.

At the cinema I saw "The Edge Of Love". More about that when I have had a chance to think about it.

Jennifer returns tomorrow. I could try spending the evening with her, but I doubt that will happen. My fear is that she will be more concerned about catching up with work and doing her statistics. We will see how it goes.

Last night we went to see David Essex.



Sadly, the less said about the gig the better. I thought David Essex was rubbish and that the gig was a massive disappointment, both to me and to Lorraine.We have seen David Essex in concert twice before and both times he was really good, which made it even worse.

The first time we saw David Essex was a few years back at the NEC, when he was appearing as part of a 70's package tour featuring Les McKeown (the ex lead singer of the Bay City Rollers), the Osmonds and David Cassidy. David Cassidy was headlining, but David Essex blew him off the stage with a mixture of a great voice, great songs (he played 6 or 7 of his biggest hits) and a genuine rapport with the audience. Surprisingly, maybe, the Osmonds were also really good that night.

The second time was a couple of years ago at the Symphony Hall. Obviously this time it was a full length concert. David Essex looked good, sounded good, bounced around the stage with the energy of a teenager and played all of his hits bar my favourite "Stardust". Bastard! Generally a good night was had by all and especially by the hundreds of ladies in their late 40's.

Last night David Essex's voice was shot to hell, he looked fragile and there was definitely a whiff of going-through-the-motions about the whole endeavour. He mentioned a couple of times that it had been a long tour. I checked and Birmingham was the 45th date. Maybe that had a lot to do with the whole lack of energy. You cannot expect a man of 61 to have the same energy as one of 25, but that is hardly any comfort to your average punter shelling out for an evening of entertainment. Not that it appeared the rest of the audience noticed or cared. There was a lot of screaming, a gaggle of middle aged women down the front, and the nice middle class lady who sat next to me (not Jennifer) swooned throughout.

I suppose I was a bit bored by the show. Jennifer agreed. She said that if she heard David Essex was touring again, she wouldn't bother to go to see him for a third time. I think that speaks volumes.

Hopefully our next two gigs will be better. Neil Diamond at the O2 Arena in London, on Saturday, and Goldfrapp at the Symphony Hall, on Sunday.

**

Sleep is hard going at the moment, and I am probably tireder than I thought I was. I realised this this afternoon when I cried all of the way through watching the 21st episode of series 3 of "Lost". You know the episode that I mean. "Greatest Hits", which has Charlie writing down the five greatest moments of his life, which we saw in flashback.

So sad. So heartfelt. So melancholic, considering what happens in episodes 22 and 23. I even teared up when describing what happened to Jennifer, who does not watch "Lost" at all. She shook her head sadly.

Am I an utter wuss, or what? I think I am.

**

This will probably be the last post until Monday. We have to catch an early coach tomorrow and then there will be limited opportunity to avail myself on the facilities of an Internet cafe.

So, have a good weekend folks, and if the opportunity arises for any of you to 'ave it', I strongly advise that you do so.

It seems a bit stupid to be writing about TV, gigs and films from several days ago, but who said I wasn't stupid?

Briefly then.

"I'd Do Anything".



Samantha went into the final show expecting to lose and she did. Her confidence had been shattered by the semi-final. She was very lacklustre. It was a big shame, because she had been consistently great throughout the competition.

Jessie went into the final show expecting to win and she didn't. She sang like a dream, but her 'acting' during the songs came across as kind of demented. Maybe she felt that big gestures were required and misjudged it completely?

Jodie won. I was very pleased by that. I had put a bet on her to win earlier in the day and won 11 quid. Clever me. Jodie was certainly not the best singer, looker or dancer, but personality goes a long way and she had bags of it. Jennifer reminded me that during the early audition stages of the competition I had predicted that Jodie would make the final 12, purely on a passable voice and the force of her enthusiasm, but that she would probably not win.

What do I know? I know nothing.

So, well done Jodie. Here she is singing "Send In The Clowns", which is a song I absolutely adore.



"Doctor Who".

Hah! "Silence In The Library" was more like it! Strange, weird, hinting at dark and dangerous secrets. The fractured existence of a time traveller. People you have met and the people you are still to meet. Classic Steven Moffat.

And who the hell is this Professor River Song, and how come she knows so much about the Doctor? I don't know. Do you?

I will continue tomorrow. I cannot afford another late night.

Bad grammar alert. Last post.

"By the way, thank you all for the kind comments on the 'death' post. Very liberating to write. I would recommend it to everybody."

What I meant to write at the end of that paragraph was, 'I would recommend that everybody have a go at writing their own 'death' post'.

Even I am not that arrogant to suggest that everybody read that entry. Unless you want to, of course... And don't forget to tell all your friends about the work of genius that it is!

Ha!

**

I am injured.

Jennifer and I had a lift from work this morning and I managed to trap one of the fingers of my right hand in the car door as it was being shut. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know. The finger is not broken. It just hurts like buggery and is busy turning a nice shade of puce. Pain in the arse. Or should that be pain in the finger?

While typing I have discovered the exquisite pain of the letters 'o' and 'l', the number '9' and the punctuation symbol '.'. Yes, I can touch type. It is the only useful thing I ever learnt at school. This is despite the fact that at 14 years old I was suddenly thrust into a typing class with 18 teenage girls and one sad looking boy (hah, Clive - I remember you), and the teacher Mrs. Ingram was about 23 years old, looked exactly like the GMTV weather girl Clare Nazir



(that's Clare Nazir on the right)

and used to lean in close when she was giving us personal tuition.

Let me tell you, it was hard. To concentrate, that is.

**

I am just killing a little time before the finale of "I'd Do Anything" and the next "Doctor Who".

Re. "I'd Do Anything", the bookies have Jodie as the favourite to win, followed by Jessie and then Samantha. I would generally agree with that.

I was shocked last week when Samantha came last in the public vote on the last four contestants, and only got into the final because of Lloyd-Webber's casting vote. I had assumed that Samantha was top of the public vote every week. She had the looks and the voice. Maybe she was too slick. I don't know now if Samantha can win it.

If Ireland mobilises behind her Jessie will win. If Ireland doesn't mobilise, Jodie will win. I think it is as simple as that.

Re. "Doctor Who", I think that this current series has been enjoyable enough, but I am still waiting for the killer episode(s) of this series. Maybe they are still to come? Steven Moffat has written the next two. He is taking over as producer in 2010 and I think is a very good choice. He has written some outstanding "Doctor Who" stories since the rebirth of the series ("The Empty Child", "The Doctor Dances", "The Girl In The Fireplace" and "Blink") and will probably be the man to cast the new Doctor if David Tennant departs in 2010 as expected. Or is he to depart somewhat sooner than that?

David Morrissey is in the Christmas story, you know...

I am off to see the Pigeon Detectives tomorrow night, so you may see me before then, or you may not.

Have a good what's remaining of the weekend, folks.

I watch "I'd Do Anything" compulsively every Saturday, and the results show every Sunday. This has perturbed Jennifer a great deal. Where is the stud that she started going out with in 1996 and who is this girly wuss who has taken his place?

The quarter final sing off was yesterday. It featured Rachel and Niamh. Rachel won. Niamh is gone.

I think that this is the best song that Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber ever wrote. It always brings a tear to my eye.



Sigh. Girly wuss.

Jodie to win! Or will it be Sam? I don't know. I will toss a coin. (Tosses a coin.) Jodie! (Or Sam.)

As you were.

It has been an incredibly busy weekend. At the time, frankly too busy to taking time out to be blogging about it.

Saturday we spent mostly with my Nephew. My Nephew will be 12 on 26th May 2008. Due to a combination of many things, we will not be seeing him on that day or close to that day. So, we took him out and let him choose his own presents and treats.

Clothes from Debenhams (the boy likes his labels - Sister 3 blames me), burger and salad from the Handmade Burger Company (he had a Chicken, Cheese - yuck - and Bacon combination) and then a movie ("Speed Racer" - a piece of shit, but I will go into details at a another time). It was a really nice day for all concerned. Jennifer played Mom and she loved it.

Today Jennifer departed for Nottingham. She has a business meeting in the city tomorrow, and it gave her the chance to stay over at one of her oldest friends. I have filled my day with movies ("Iron Man" - very good, I thought), eating and TV ("I'd Do Anything" - sue me, I love it, and segments from "Lost" series 3 Virgin Media's TV on demand service). I could have/should have done chores. Our back garden is a disgrace.

Ha ha ha ha!

No post last night, because I was cooking a massive curry, which we then ate, and then watched we hours and hours of The Who on BBC4.

No post now because I am going out, but I will be back later.

The excitement is palpable.