Jennifer made me stay home because I was in no fit state to go to work. After sleeping in very late, I washed, had some Thai chicken soup and watched lots of stuff on the TV.

1. Neil Young live in concert, from a 1972 BBC session.
2. "The Mist" on Blu Ray.
3. Two episodes of "Underbelly".

I feel much better. I will go to work tomorrow. No choice, really. Tomorrow evening we are going to a gig (The Puppini Sisters), so if I really didn't go to work, it would be too much like skiving and I do not hold with skiving.

When I return on Thursday I will finally publish my thoughts on the Shuffleathon 2008 CD.

Later.

Sniff, cough, gurgle. I feel like absolute shit...

I will return.

Very tired. Nose running. Headache this morning. I could have done without going out to a family meal to celebrate Sister 3's birthday, but at least there I was able to sit Niece 2 (3 months, 3 weeks old, approximately) on my lap and make her laugh by doing duck noises. Highlight of my day. Really.

I have not forgotten the blog. I went to see the Fratellis and have a story of idiocy to tell. I have been listening to the Shuffleathon 2008 CD, which is a quite interesting set of songs. I have been writing some emails and doing other things. I have just not been writing about them.

By the way, "Iron Man" is magnificent on Blu Ray. Just thought that you should know that.

I am going to lie down.

I have a cold. It is not flu, or man flu, or anything like that. But it is a pain in the ass. I dragged myself into work today, for the money. I was lucky enough to get a lift home. I fell asleep in front of the TV this afternoon. Jennifer says that I snore.

It has been a bit of a wasted day. Never mind.

Lots to do. Emails to reply to. It will all get done tomorrow. "The X-Factor" awaits. I have my priorities right.

Today, for the first time in many, many years I was sent home from work as I did not feel very well. Migraine, mostly, interspersed with some sickness and diarrhea. The funny thing is that the guy who sent me home, who is Jennifer's boss, is normally a total ass, but sometimes he suprises me with casual acts of kindness. We were understaffed at work, and what with Jennifer being off work this week on leave, I was prepared to hang on for today. Jennifer's boss wouldn't hear a word of it and even arranged for somebody to give me a lift home.

This has been such fun. Illness started last night, which accounts for the fact that I did not post last night. Whatever it is has probably been caused by Jennifer trying to kill me with her cooking.

I was back in the house by 10am. I retired to my bed with a bowl in which to be sick and anti-shit tablets to stop the... er... shit. I slept a lot and dreamt massive sex dreams. Some girls are very naughty...

I am up now and feeling much better now. Waiting for food.

Hungry.

Nothing much to write this evening. Anyway Jennifer is floating, I am on her laptop, and I really hate people trying to read over my shoulder.

I am off to see the Sex Pistols tomorrow evening with my Brother, this gentleman and this gentleman. I had hoped it would be an evening of consumption of alcohol beverages, dancing and general dicking about, but that was before the finger-in-the-car-door incident and the hospital appointment that I need to keep at 9:20 on Thursday morning. Moderation will have to be the key word tomorrow evening, unfortunately. I may not even make it into the mosh pit.

Really looking forward to the gig, though. Could be one of the greatest gigs of my life. No pressure for the band there, then.

Half day at work tomorrow. Home, nap, food, shower, red bull, bus, Anarchy!

Illness is such fun.

At some point during the night a small purple mark appeared on the back of my right hand. The mark got larger and more purple as the day progressed. Eventually Jennifer became freaked out, and amidst dark mutterings from her about "Internal hemorrhaging", "Hairline fractures" and "Blood trauma", she arranged for somebody to give me a lift to Accident & Emergency department at Dudley Road. It was late enough for me to skive off for the rest of the day. Hurrah!

At the hospital I made the acquaintance of Nurse Beautiful. I immediately offered to take off all of my clothes, but Nurse Beautiful thought that this would probably be excessive as she was only going to diagnose a problem with an injured finger. Instead, Nurse Beautiful pushed and prodded and poked and sent me to get the finger X-rayed. The results of the X-ray were inconclusive. Possibly a chipped bone at the tip of the finger, possibly not. (I had two X-rays taken. One X-ray looked fine and clear. Nothing wrong. The other X-ray looked muddy.) Nurse Beautiful strapped up my finger anyway, told me to take painkillers if I felt the need and to keep my right hand held high as it would help the swelling to go down. I have an appointment to see a fracture specialist next week, if the problem persists. Nurse Beautiful said it was unlikely that I would need to visit again. She seemed sad. Her cheeky, and it has to be said, slightly sensual smile, was lost in an expression of never-to-be-fulfilled longing.

Sigh.

But what of the purple mark on the back of my hand.

It was a bruise.

When I got home I told Jennifer that there was a risk I might lose my hand, as Septicaemia had set in. I gave her my full monty sad look. Jennifer dismissed me and called me an "Ass!".

No sympathy in this house.

I am typing this with two fingers. It is an utter pain in the arse, but at least gives me a reason to give up for this evening. This is hard work, man! Not used to that.

Back tomorrow. Gig review. Film review. TV drivel talk.

Bad grammar alert. Last post.

"By the way, thank you all for the kind comments on the 'death' post. Very liberating to write. I would recommend it to everybody."

What I meant to write at the end of that paragraph was, 'I would recommend that everybody have a go at writing their own 'death' post'.

Even I am not that arrogant to suggest that everybody read that entry. Unless you want to, of course... And don't forget to tell all your friends about the work of genius that it is!

Ha!

**

I am injured.

Jennifer and I had a lift from work this morning and I managed to trap one of the fingers of my right hand in the car door as it was being shut. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know. The finger is not broken. It just hurts like buggery and is busy turning a nice shade of puce. Pain in the arse. Or should that be pain in the finger?

While typing I have discovered the exquisite pain of the letters 'o' and 'l', the number '9' and the punctuation symbol '.'. Yes, I can touch type. It is the only useful thing I ever learnt at school. This is despite the fact that at 14 years old I was suddenly thrust into a typing class with 18 teenage girls and one sad looking boy (hah, Clive - I remember you), and the teacher Mrs. Ingram was about 23 years old, looked exactly like the GMTV weather girl Clare Nazir



(that's Clare Nazir on the right)

and used to lean in close when she was giving us personal tuition.

Let me tell you, it was hard. To concentrate, that is.

**

I am just killing a little time before the finale of "I'd Do Anything" and the next "Doctor Who".

Re. "I'd Do Anything", the bookies have Jodie as the favourite to win, followed by Jessie and then Samantha. I would generally agree with that.

I was shocked last week when Samantha came last in the public vote on the last four contestants, and only got into the final because of Lloyd-Webber's casting vote. I had assumed that Samantha was top of the public vote every week. She had the looks and the voice. Maybe she was too slick. I don't know now if Samantha can win it.

If Ireland mobilises behind her Jessie will win. If Ireland doesn't mobilise, Jodie will win. I think it is as simple as that.

Re. "Doctor Who", I think that this current series has been enjoyable enough, but I am still waiting for the killer episode(s) of this series. Maybe they are still to come? Steven Moffat has written the next two. He is taking over as producer in 2010 and I think is a very good choice. He has written some outstanding "Doctor Who" stories since the rebirth of the series ("The Empty Child", "The Doctor Dances", "The Girl In The Fireplace" and "Blink") and will probably be the man to cast the new Doctor if David Tennant departs in 2010 as expected. Or is he to depart somewhat sooner than that?

David Morrissey is in the Christmas story, you know...

I am off to see the Pigeon Detectives tomorrow night, so you may see me before then, or you may not.

Have a good what's remaining of the weekend, folks.

I awoke this morning with a nuclear headache and a terrible sick feeling in my stomach. Jennifer had already gone to work (she catches the bus at 6am, mad cow) so I phoned her at 7am to say that I wasn't coming in. To say she was unimpressed would be an understatement. I was ill. I did feel like death. Tough. I blame the change in air pressure. Where the hell has the Summer gone?

I took tablets and went back to bed, eventually rising at 11:30am. After eggs and toast I felt much better.

I have done some things on the computer and fulfilled a commitment to a friend. I am now going to watch a film.

It is tough being ill.

I will not be leaving the house today. Last night I made the fatal mistake of having a KFC and subsequently am experiencing the trots. Jennifer also had KFC. There is nothing wrong with the cow. This proves, unconditionally I think, that she is in fact an alien. I have suspected as much for a long time.

Jennifer has made me have two Loperamide Hydrochloride tablets which, on past experience, are effective enough to block up the Hoover Dam. She will be cooking scrambled eggs as soon as she has finished watching "High Society".

So, blogging it is for today. Some brief film reviews, methinks. Not something I do very often. :-)

I have seen two movies over the past two days. "P2" and "Son Of Rambow".

"P2".



I liked the premise of "P2". (Loony tunes parking attendant (Wes Bentley) pursues overworked business woman (Rachel Nichols) around a deserted multi-story car park on Christmas Eve.)

I liked Wes Bentley's psychopath, even if in the latter stages he is more funny than threatening.

I liked Rachel Nichols' girl in peril. She ticked all the pertinent boxes required for a spunky, resourceful heroine.

However...

My overall impression watching "P2" was to think 'Been there, done that'. "P2" is the kind of movie I thought had stopped getting a major cinema release circa 1985, once Jamie Leigh Curtis had retired from stalk-and-slash movies. The kind of movie now relegated to the local specialised horror or thriller television channels, broadcast by your favourite cable provider. "P2" is curiously old fashioned in it's intentions, but don't get me wrong. "P2" is not un-enjoyable, just predictable.

Sorry feminists, but there is still some residual enjoyment to be had by the eighties video shop/VHS generation in watching a bad man pursue a half naked girl, only to be thwarted by the object of his desires. Maybe one day somebody will make a movie about a well chiseled, attractive young man, dressed only in his underpants, being pursued by a bad girl with a big weapon. Until that happy day, the cliche of the fit looking girl in jeopardy will still rule.

"P2" is an reasonable enough thriller. It has some effective shocks, tension and excitement, and uses nicely the enclosed environment of the cold, dreary, impersonal multi-story car park. I did like the Christmas Eve setting, which leads me to ask why "P2" was released in the UK in May? Releasing "P2" in the UK just prior to Christmas would surely have given it an extra bit of frisson and would have been a nice alternative to the family films and blockbusters clogging up the cinemas at that time.

So, not bad, if you are prepared to see something you have seen many times before.

"Son Of Rambow".



"Son Of Rambow" is a nice little film about a pair of lonely little boys who, one summer in the early 80's, decide to make their own sequel to "Rambo: First Blood" to enter into the "Screen Test" young filmmakers competition. "Son Of Rambow" is about realising the importance of family, growing up, making friends and knowing that sometimes (puts on very sincere voice), friends, you just have to follow your dream.

I thought that "Son Of Rambow" was really funny, kind of touching and, according to my Brother who was a schoolboy circa 1983, really accurate as to what it was like to go to an English comprehensive school at that time. There are great performances by the two main leads: Will Poulter as the Artful Dodgeresque Lee Carter, a rascal, thief and blagger, ignored by his family, and Bill Milner as Will Proudfoot, a boy stifled by the rigid and antiseptic religious community he has been born into, whose life is changed forever by the power of the movies.

One thing that I most definitely did not like was the sloppy attention to period detail. "Son Of Rambow" is set no later than 1983. Brian Trueman is shown as the presenter of "Screen Test", and "Rambo: First Blood" was released worldwide circa 1982/83. So far so good.

So, how could "The Reflex" by Duran Duran be played at the school disco, when the version played in the film, remixed from the track on "Seven And The Ragged Tiger", was not released until 1984? Ditto "Peek-A-Boo" by Siouxsie & The Banshees, a single not released until 1988? Also, an audience is seen waiting to watch the film "Yentl". That film did not come out in the UK until 1984. I am sure there may well be other discrepancies.

That aside "Son Of Rambow" is a good film, but remember to take your hankies for the end.

Feeling unwell. I don't think that the potatoes were cooked properly.

Later.

Happy Easter, y'all! Just checking in.

We got back from London yesterday, but the inclination to post was not there as it was a fraught and awful journey, I was tired and also suffering from food poisoning. Still am, actually, although the worst of it has passed. Literally. I still have a stomach ache that comes in waves. I would be pissed off at having wasted the Bank Holiday Monday skulking around the house, but we are off work this week, so it could be worse.

I will write about the trip tomorrow. I don't want to do it now. "Absurd Person Singular", "Speed The Plow" and "The Lover/The Collection". Mixed impressions of the theatre gigs, but it was good weekend.

I hope everybody is well.

Day 3 or 4 of the cold? Day 4. I didn't post yesterday. I was much more interested in watching "Torchwood" and "Dexter".

My throat is sore. I have the sniffles. I have a cough. I am burning up with fever. My legs and arms are aching like shit. I keep losing my breath.

Other than that I am just fine and dandy. Thanks for asking.

I have been dragging myself into work, only because Jennifer asked me to and has been really nice to me this week. We are terribly short staffed, what with holiday being taken at the last minute (the holiday year at the PLC ending on 31st March) and various members of staff being whisked away to attend ITIL seminars and examinations.

(Sidebar. ITIL. Utter bullshit and a waste of money. The PLC wouldn't recognise a procedure if one appeared, bit them on the arse and announced, "Hi there! I'm a procedure!" I'll go into the whole subject of ITIL-shite sometime soon, but not now. I will say one thing, though. One manager who thinks he is absolutely great but really hasn't got the intellectual ability to supervise the position of the pen on his desk, came back from one of the exams today looking completely shell shocked. Maybe, hitting the wall of his limitations? Oh, I did smile, in between coughing. About fucking time. End of sidebar.)

I had a story to tell, but I will do it another time. It can wait. It event happened in 1979.

Best advert running at the moment.



Genius.

So, yes, I have a cold. My throat feels as though I have been gargling broken glass. I have been drinking orange juice, eating lots of vegetables and fruit and other things ('You have to feed a cold, son' - Mom Cornelius) and sucking on lots of Lockets, Strepsils and Halls Mentholpytus sweets.

No effect, of course. But it is only day 2. These things take time.

Still, if my form is consistent, this cold will be gone before the Friday after next, which is when we go to London for a sqwark. Kevin Spacey, Jeff Goldblum and Laura Michelle Kelly in "Speed The Plow" await.

I had a story to tell. I will tell it on Thursday. Sleep is good.

"The Bank Job".



There might be the odd mild spoiler in the next couple of paragraphs, so feel free to skip.

In it's own small way "The Bank Job" attempts the same trick that the writer James Ellroy pulled off so well in his fine novels "American Tabloid" and "The Cold Six Thousand". That is, to weave a connected narrative from matters of public record (the Baker Street Walkie-Talkie heist and subsequent D-Notice, the disgrace of certain Conservative government ministers due to sex scandals and the fall of the criminal Michael X) and public rumour (the indiscretions of Princess Margaret, the involvement of Lord Louis Mountbatten in British intelligence operations and the true extent of police corruption and involvement with certain London based porn barons of the early seventies). It works, kind of. The problem with "The Bank Job" is that it takes too long to get going.

During the first half of "The Bank Job" there is a definite whiff of seen-it-all-before ennui. The job is instigated, the team is assembled, the job is pulled. Pretty unrealistic, so-so, anaemic stuff, frankly, with variable acting. (Whoever told Saffron Burrows that she can do 'cockney'?)

Then suddenly, during the second half, writers Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais rediscover the form they had when they wrote the brilliant early 70's Richard Burton vehicle "Villain", and "The Bank Job" becomes really entertaining, gritty, seedy, violent, fast moving and complex. Shame it wasn't like that from the start.

Nice, slightly out of character performance by Jason Statham, who only has one real 'hardman' moment. Fun, extended cameos from a galaxy of jobbing British character actors. Peter Bowles, Keeley Hawes and David Suchet, amongst others. See if you can spot Colin Salmon. I didn't even realise he was in the movie until I read the credits.

In retrospect, probably a missed opportunity, and it should have been better, but "The Bank Job" is still worth seeing if you have the patience to stick with it. It does get better as it goes along.

********

I have a cold. (Coughs.)