Yes, I did have a hangover yesterday. Probably explains why I forgot all about writing about "Meet The Spartans".



When the history of movie making in the noughties is finally written, it will no doubt be agreed that the decision to green light a parody of a parody was actually a pretty good decision. (What's that? You don't agree that "300" was a parody of a swords and sandals epic? Don't be daft! Of course it was. Great film, though.) "Meet The Spartans" has bestrode (bestridden?) the U.S. film charts and is currently sitting triumphant at the top of the U.K. film charts.

Frankly, this is not bad for a film that has been, more or less, universally lambasted and criticised as one of the worst films of the year. I think it just goes to prove the truth of what William Goldman wrote in his fine book "Adventures In The Screen Trade". Nobody knows anything.

Anyway, what do I think?

The best bits: Nicole Parker's takeoff of Britney Spears, which was brilliant and made me laugh a lot, and Carmen Electra's body.

The worst bits: Er... Actually just about everything else.

"Meet The Spartans" really is a magnificently bad movie. Dog howlingly bad. Car crash bad. End of the world bad. Black plague, infestation of locusts, drought crisis, zombie holocaust, Sharon Osborne on "The X-Factor" bad. Bad. Very bad.

There is pleasure to be made in discovering a real stinker and, schizophrenically, I do not consider going to see "Meet The Spartans" a waste of an afternoon. I would recommend it to everybody just for the comparison required to recognise a good movie when you see one. Just try not to think of the money it must have cost to make this masterpiece and the films that could have been made instead.

Sigh.

Still, to look on the bright side, it was nice to see the U.K.'s very own Sean Maguire, of "Eastenders" and "Grange Hill" fame, all buff, grown up and achieving success in the States. I just hope that it is not the end of his career.