The gaps get longer. The content gets lesser. The interest wanes. The enthusiasm dips. Welcome to middle age.

At the moment I feel that all I want to do is watch television. Maybe it is that time of my life.

Anyway, I intend to finish the next bit, even if it kills me.

As I was saying. At the weekend I took my Nephew to see "Speed Racer".



Midway through the film I leaned over to him and whispered, "What do you think?" and this is what he said to me.

"It's rubbish, man!"

My Nephew was right as well. "Speed Racer" is very pants.

I will admit that "Speed Racer" looks absolutely fabulous. It shows us a big, bright, day glow universe. A multi-coloured extrapolation of how somebody living in the 1950's would think that a car racing obsessed future would look like. Breathtaking production design.

However... Other than the great visuals "Speed Racer" is possibly the emptiest, shallowest, dullest movie experience I have had in a cinema, since my misfortune in shelling out a couple of quid to see "The Matrix" sequels. Very long and very boring. (Sorry guys, but a 2 hours and 15 minutes running time for a film aimed ostensibly at small children is way too much). "Speed Racer" is all glittering surface without a decent script underpinning it.

Sigh... I know it's dull, but let's repeat the mantra once again, shall we?

Special effects alone do not a good movie make.

Personally I felt sorry for the cast in getting involved in such a clunker. Emile Hirsch had good notices in "Into The Wild" (I missed that one), and I thought he was funny in "The Girl Next Door", but here he is a personality vacuum and wears one expression of mild bemusement throughout the entire movie. Fine performers like Christina Ricci, John Goodman and Susan Sarandon are totally wasted. Lastly, the less said about Paulie Litt as Speed's irritiating younger brother the better, and let's not mention the comedy chimp at all. Life is too short. (Whoops! Just did.)

A bad misfire, then, but in recent times I have learnt to expect nothing much from the Wachowski's. "The Matrix" had it's moments (the first DVD I ever had, fact fans), but the best movie they were ever involved in was the lesbian film noir "Bound" and that was released way back in 1996. I would love the Wachowski's to do something as good again, but I doubt that they will. They have discovered the paintbox of digital special effects and, as long as those films continue to make money, I doubt they will ever want to close the lid on the paintbox.

"Iron Man" tomorrow.